When Furbies Attack
by ellfie
Summary: Furbies attack Ed and Al on the way to no where. Insanity ensues! Will Edward and Alphonse be able to escape the wrath of Ficklebub? Rated for the furbies having guns and knives.TOTALLY RANDOM! READ AT OWN RISK! OneShot.


What happens when you take sugar, lemon juice, late-night typing sessions, reading 12 chapters of a fanfic in less then 5 hours, spending 2 hours trying to get the hang of playing "Brother" on the piano, and finally; having the overwhelming urge to finally write a long-awaited fic? The answer? Simple! This fanfiction! Enjoy D

Abby(my new-ly found muse!): BEWARE! This makes no sense at all, is totally random and spir of the moment from Hedwig's head after she got high on sugar and fullmetal alchemist at midnight. We all know she's an idiot, but cut her a little slack.

Me: Hey!

Abby: Don't denie the truth! Which reminds me, **DISCLAIMER!** Hedwig the MilleniumOwl doesn't own Fullmetal Alchemist, or Furbies. Though she did own a furbie once, before taking out the batteries of it and throwing it out of the window because of it's annoyingness and creepyness.

Me: Could ya blame me!? That thing deserved to die!

Abby: m hm, let's just get this over with, shall we?

Me: Fine fine, -starts-

**When Furbies Attack**

"I don't see why Mustang sent us out on this ridiculous mission." A short blond boy complained to his armored companion, "I mean, come on. Who'd believe something as idiotic as 'odd small fluffy creatures with machine guns attacking towns people,' It's completely ludicrous!"

"I know, Edward, but it was an order, and the Colonel IS our superior and a higher ranking officer." The suit of armor replied carefully.

Alphonse and Edward Elric were walking down the dirt road through some woods on the outskirts of town, on a mission to bring peace to a town apparently being tormented by odd, unknown creatures. Edward obviously disliked his mission and not to mention the officer who gave it to them.

"Yeah, well, I could beat Mustang any day, then we'll see how 'superior' he is!" Edward exclaimed triumphantly.

"How far are we from the town?" His little brother, Alphonse asked, to change subjects.

"I think I see it, over there!" Edward pointed out to a slowly approaching town. They walked in silence for a few more minutes when a sudden movement in the bushes caused them to stop and turn to face the odd bush.

"What do you think's in there, Brother?" Alphonse asked hesitantly while Ed glared at the bushes.

"Well whatever it is is gonna get a beating from me and wish it hadn't crossed our paths and—" Edward was cut off from his cocky speak when a horrible,..._thing_ waddled out from the bushes. The brothers twitched.

"I love you!" The _thing_ said in a frightening squeaky and annoying voice.

"Uugh! The horror!" Edward exclaimed, tacken aback by the creature. He stepped back and stared at it in disgusted horror. "It's so, so,... so fluffy! And, creepy and hideous and- and- and... well creepy!"

"Wonderful use of vocabulary, Brother." Alphonse sighed, and studied the creature. It was pretty small, and indeed fluffy with odd white and black markings on it to make this one look oddly like a penguin. Complete with large, pointed ears, a yellow round beak, and creepy looking eyes, this _thing_ really was the definition of horror.

"Oh my god, Alphonse!!" Edward gasped in horror.

"What!?"

"IT'S A FURBIE!!" Edward cried out, pointing at the hideous creature.

"Oh my god, NOT THE FURBIES!!" Alphonse gasped and retreated back, pushing his brother forwards. "You go see what it wants!"

"Why me!?" Edward cried indignantly.

"'Cause you're the older brother!"

"So!?" Alphonse gave Edward another shove and Ed gave in, "Fine."

"Be careful Brother! We don't know what it could do!" Alphonse cautioned.

"Hah, what could a pint-sized fluff ball like this do?" Edward grinned, "Though it's still creepy..."

"I love you!" The creature said again, then suddenly took out a giant machine gun and pointed it threateningly at the two brothers. "And now you go bye bye!"

"HOLY #$" Edward shouted, leaping back. Suddenly, billions of eyes started blinking from inside the forest, and more waddling sounds could be heard of the hideous creatures.

"They're surrounding us!" Alphonse gasped, looking around at all the multi-colored pests, all accessorized with guns and knives and other forms of what looked like would give them a slow, painful death.

"I can see that!" Edward growled, looking about as well.

"What are we going to do!?"

"Only one thing TO do. RUN!!" Edward grabbed his brother's arm and took off at top-speed, barreling into the other Furbies and sending them flying.

"They're getting away! GET THEM!!" They heard one of the Furbies squeak viciously, which caused the brothers to just run faster.

"They're gaining on us!" Alphonse cried and Edward chanced a quick glance back, then wishing he hadn't. Millions, maybe even billions of the little horrible Furbies of doom were quickly waddling after them, starting to aim their guns. Suddenly, they started shooting and the brother's quickly tried dodging the attacks (though all the bullets just ricocheted off of Al, causing more bullets for Ed to dodge). Building up the courage to face these monstrosities, Edward stopped and turned to face the on-coming Furbies.

"Brother!" Alphonse cried out to his brother, running back towards him.

Edward quickly transmuted his auto-mail right arm into a hand blade and started slicing at the Furbies ferociously, while shouting insults and curses directed towards them as well.

"You creepy! Disgusting! Horrible! Freaky! And annoying pests! I hope you burn in HELL!" Edward was slowly starting to lose, as he tried cutting away at the number of creatures, though they were too great, and soon several pounced on his head and arms. "GAH!"

"Edward!" Alphonse shouted again, while trying to fight off the Furbies as well. Soon, the Furbies brought him down as well, and both brothers soon ended up bound to eachother, still surrounded by the gun-holding Furbies.

"Very good," The first Furbie said to his minions...er... troops, before turning to the brothers. "Hello, I is Ficklebub, and I are leader of this group." It stated in it's squeaky voice and horrible vocabulary of a Furbie.

"And what exactly do you want with us...Ficklebub?" Edward spat, which earned him a gun point being shoved in his face warningly.

"You is our hostages." Ficklebub answered.

"What type of children toys are you!?" Edward glared, "Holding guns and attacking innocent passer-byers, then taking them hostage!"

"We is the homicidal children's toys."**(1)** Ficklebub said, waddling around them.

"Obviously." Edward muttered to himself, earning a slap on the face. Though how the Furbies slapped him is a mystery, since they have to arms.

Several hours went buy as Edward and Alphonse watched the Furbies strange ways. They had made a large bonfire, and started doing a very creepy looking dance around it, as if doing some form of ritual. When the time came for some big event, Ficklebub came over to the brothers again, motioning for the guards to bring Edward and Alphonse over to the fire pit.

"What the crap are you doing!?" Edward exclaimed as they got closer to the flames.

"Sacrificing you." Ficklebub stated simply, motioning for his troops to continue.

"What!?" Edward and Alphonse exclaimed in unity. They started struggling against their binds again, though it was no use. Ficklebub laughed at their futile attempt to escape, when suddenly, lighting streaked against the sky and thunder boomed in accompany afterwords.

"No!" Ficklebub looked up with horror, as rain started pouring from the sky. It immediately soaked everyone, though to Ed and Al's surprise, the Furbies looked like they were reeling in pain.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" moaned all the Furbies in chorus, "We're meeelllttttiiinnnggg!!!" That they were, and it was an odd sight. Millions of Furbies, twitching and cringing at the rain, were now all melting as well. Soon, a furry puddle littered with random machine guns was all that was left of Ficklebub's troops.

"No! My evil plot to rule the world is ruined!" Ficklebub screeched as he too started melting. "NOOO!!" It's cry soon became only a small peep before he melted completely as well, leaving two very confused looking boys.

"Uh, Al?" Edward asked.

"Yeah?"

"What the hell just happened?"

"Well, Ed, it seems that we were just attacked and held hostage by Furbies, almost sacrificed too, but were saved because they all melted from the rain."

"That explains a lot." Edward muttered sarcastically.

"So, uhm," Alphonse looked around, "How exactly do we cut ourselves out of the binding? I can't reach any of the knives."

"Er," Edward looked around as well before a large knife suddenly fell from the sky, landing less then a foot away from the brothers. "Holy Crap, where'd that come from!?"

Suddenly, there was a loud POOF! And a short girl holding a laptop came out of no where. "Holy Crap, where'd _you_ come from!"

"Well, my mom and dad loved each other VERY much, and— er well that's off topic." She grinned, "I'm the author of this, Kt!"

The boys gave her blank looks, and she sighed.

"I just sent that knife for you to get yourselves out." She explained.

"Did you send those Furbies after us too?" Edward looked at her suspiciously.

"Mayyyybe." She grinned sheepishly.

"We don't need some girl's help!" Ed decided, "Especially from a girl who sent those _things_ after us!"

"Fine." She shrugged, sitting down on a log, placing the laptop in her lap and snapping her fingers, causing the knife to disappear.

"What'd you just do!?" Alphonse gasped.

"You don't need my help right? So," She snapped her fingers again and the flames rose again and Ficklebub started to re-generate, "I'll just leave you to take care of 'em." She smiled and waved, "_Au revoir!_" and with that, she POOFED and was gone. The boys stared at the spot where she just was for another moment, before noticing Ficklebub regenerating again.

"Quick Al! Kick it into the fire!" Edward shouted to his brother, seeing he was closet to the Furbie and the fire. Alphonse did as he was told the Furbie started dieing again. After that, they tried for several long minutes to get a knife to cut themselves free, since their hands were bond to close together to do any alchemy, though to no avail.

"Need my help yet?" A voice came from the sky and with another POOF the same girl from before appeared in front of them, sitting on a log in her PJ's.

"Why are you in your pajamas?" Alphonse asked as Edward quirked an eyebrow.

"Cuz in my world, it's after 1am, and I'm really supposed to be sleeping now, but am writing out your fates instead." She answered with a shrug.

"Oh that's reassuring." Edward rolled his eyes, earning him a glare.

"Then you don't need my help, so I'll just be going—"

"NO WAIT!" The brother's cut her off and Al continued, "Please help us!"

There was a long pause as she put on a fake look of thought, "But it's so much fun to torment you... aw fine." She snapped her fingers and their binds disappeared.

"FREEDOM!" Edward exclaimed, jumping up.

"Why did the Furbies melt when it rained?" Alphonse asked.

"I guess they were related to the Wicked Witch of the West, who wasn't really Wicked, blame the whole society of Oz for her turning Wicked, but that's a completely different story!" Edward twitched at the girl's rambles, but she continued, "Well with that, I must be off. But before I leave... ED YOU'RE THE SHORTEST PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF ALL WORLDS!"

"WHO YOU CALLING A BEAN SPROUT MIDGIT!? SO SMALL AN ANT COULD SQUISH HIM!? SO SMALL YOU HAVE TO SEE HIM WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS!?" Edward burst out, lunging for the girl, though Al held him back.

The girl burst out laughing, "I'm calling _you_ all those things!" Before Ed could do anything else, there was another POOF as she disappeared to go to bed so she wouldn't get yelled at by her mother and brother for staying up late again.

**END**

Ah, the wonder of sugar...

Go read Bogart Encounters by hanjuuluver. Now! Or I'll sick my evil Furbie minions on you! Seriously though, it's awesome and hilarious, well chapter 2 is. Chapter 1 is more intense... but I'm rambling now so just go read it!

So there you have it, the results of all that's listed at the beginning. Frightening isn't it? Lol! And if you feel like flaming, keep in mind this wasn't written to be serious or really for anything at all. That's all I got for now...

Abby: Thank goodness –relieved sigh-


End file.
